How to Survive: Post-Festival

BrownStock 2013

Alt-J at Reading 2013

BST: The Rolling Stones

Contradicting what the well loved christmas song might tell you, 'Festival Season' is in fact the most wonderful time of the year! It's a time where the rules of society are thrown out the window and it's perfectly acceptable to get up, open a cider and throw on as much glitter as you possibly can. I wish every day was as easy. Getting ready for a festival is super super exciting. Matching your wellies to your nail polish isn't a step too far I promise... but there so much advice on how to perfect the festival experience and I probably don't need to throw my rock in an ocean that's pretty much covered it all. But what's too often forgotten about, and maybe for good reason, is the morning after the muddy weekend before. It's one hell of a morning and as much as you don't want to think of life after the party, I think a little bit of planning can make the transition back into civilisation smoother.



Now I'm not telling you it's gonna be easy. Travelling with too much stuff in massive crowds with a three day hangover and a smell that makes you hate yourself is never gonna be your favourite day of the year. Just know that it has to be done. You can't clap your red wellies three times and be back home. Eventually the nightmare morning will turn into a "Remember when..." for you and your pals but until that time here's my tips on getting through that stage:



Practise putting up and taking down your tent.

Wisely practising for Reading Festival 2012

I did not take this advice this year and after getting cocky with how easy my pop up tent was to set up, I wasn't laughing when my half hour of struggling lead me to leaving it behind. You have to make a deal with the devil to pack up a pop-up tent or it's £40 down the drain... So if you're a student (or just riding the red wave of the overdraft) you don't want to be losing anything because you're not sure how it all works (I've decided it's witchcraft). Yes, yes, there are instructions on tent bag, but I promise you they do not really help, more like destructions than anything else. So if you have a go at home, you have the wonderful internet to tell you how to do it; watch a video of someone struggling to put their tent down and let them do all the hard work! It may seem trivial but I promise you it's worth it, because when that Monday morning rolls around, you'll never want to see a tent again.

My pal trying deflating her lilo, Reading 2013

My next point seems really obvious but having water for the journey home is so very important. You've spent three days suckling the teat of a red wine bag, your brain is more than definitely fuzzed with dehydration. It'll make you feel more fresh,  feel less head-achey and the envy of anyone without water, lugging tents and bags is thirsty work I tells ya!
Which brings me to my last point- pack light! Unless you're in a massive group and they're bringing most the stuff, you gotta make it easy for yourself. Put down that extra bag of clothes. Put down the camping stove. Think about everything you've gotta bring back when there's not excitement adrenaline to get you through it. Just no.

 Chummy is sad because we couldn't carry the alcohol, Reading 2012

You're home, you've finally made it, you're not sure how you survived. You've battled crowds and trains and real life people slightly delirious with too much luggage and probably soaked in urine but now you're home. Then it hits you; it's over. Months and weeks of planning and excitement, over. There's no shower clean enough, no bed comfy enough and no food fresh enough to make real life worth it, but they help! There's little things you can do to stop yourself from slipping into post-festival-depression, so have a cheeky little look at what I have to offer...

Buy yourself some nice face things; mud masks, cleansing balm, maybe even a bath bomb. Your face has taken the strain of binge eating, binge drinking, mud, no shower and whatever else the weekend has thrown at you. It deserves a bit of royal treatment, as do you. Plus the mud mask can make you reminisce about all the mud you had to wade through to see your fave band. The circle of life! A good bath bomb is such a fab idea. A bath is going to feel good anyway, but why cry with post-festival depression in a plain bath when you could be in a really bloody good smelling bath. You've abused your nose this weekend with some God awful smells (do we need to bring up the 'composting toilets'...) ((and probably some other things...)) so it's the perfect way to make it up to yourself. Lovely. 

Wash your bed sheet before you leave so you come home to a clean bed. Absolutely nothing feels better than getting into clean sheets when you've just had a bath and washed your hair, nothing. Nope, nothing. You've been on the floor in sleeping bags for the past few nights so you'll thank yourself. However, if you're not ready to give up on festival life try taking a sleeping bag to bed with you. Even better if it's ripe with festival smells. Yummy. Voila! It's like you're back.

Huddling for warmth, Reading 2012

Record all the live coverage on your telly box! Or go find it online when you get back, if you aren't lucky enough to own one of those recording thingys. It is perfect if you're not ready to listen to music that's not live and a great way to relive the weekend. Or push you further into post-festival-depression because it's too nostalgic for you. But you know it's always fun playing a game of 'spot the drunken me in the crowd', especially if your parents are watching with you too... Grab your festival chummies around to watch together with a bottle of wine, invite other friends and show off all your inside jokes and stories that they just won't get because they weren't there. "You just don't understand!!"

Buy lemsip, buy beechums, buy anything that will help your cold. It's just a given that you'll have festival flu in the days that follow your mega weekend. In your most vulnerable time you're not going to want to have a little trip to asda looking and feeling like death, so do it before hand. Then if you're super super lucky and don't have flu, you're stocked up for future. Everybody gets colds...

Hair of the dog! You're not quite ready to get back into day to day life. So open the cider back up. Live like you would festival style, just for another day. After Reading in 2012 I came home to my Mum's house to a steak, bottle of champagne, cupcakes and an already run bath. I legit cried in happiness. Sort your fridge out before you leave so you can treat yo'self when you feel bloody terrible on returning. You're welcome. 

I've done my fair share of festivals in past few years and I can't get enough! I think that makes me a little qualified to give my tips; I've been there, done that and peed in the urinals to prove it. So if you've got a festival coming up in the next month start thinking about life after the party, because I said so. You'll thank me later.