-The Cult of London Grammar.
I'm not talking about cockney English teachers getting together, no. It appears the warriors of the internet have hit the keyboard once more to accuse chill British band London Grammar of becoming part of the probably fictitious Illuminati. They're a far cry from the usual finger-pointing-targets of the entertainment industry, (enter Queen Beyonce and Jay-Z) but when they posted that pic in front of the pyramid they sold their rumour-less souls to the devil.
Probably in between drinking vats of the blood of virgins, singer-soul-stress Hannah Reid took to the twitter world to unannounced the announced rumour.
"Any London Grammar fans concerned we are now members of a secret organisation also know as the Illuminati can rest easy as I assure you we haven't. It was a funny giant plastic pyramid that is all!"
Jumping on the speculation band-wagon, Katy Perry stuck in her two cents to ride the attention wave across the vast internet oceans. Quoted in Rolling Stone she said; "If the Illuminati exist, I would like to be invited. I see all that s**t and I’m like: 'Come on, let me in! I want to be in the club."' Of course she does, there's very few clubs left for Kezza Pezza to appropriate... Whoops. Or she's double bluffing, no one can have a fringe that straight cut without the devil's help, you hear what I'm saying? I thought so...
-Kool Kids with Kameras Kant stop taKing pictures.
My favourite waste of time, The Kardashians, have given us plenty to mull over this past week. Firstly, the infamous Mumager, Kris Jenner, was filmed by daughter Kendall in Ibiza struggling to wake up. Watch the amazing clip by clicking this link up in here! And know that we are all one step closer to being a Kardashian (Heaven knows I'm no morning person.)
The two spent the trip with other major fam member Kimmy K, as they instagrammed their way through plenty of people who are simultaneously famous and really really annoying (The Biebs being my prime example) (Not Kate Moss, though as she's a mega babe). During the time away Kim announced to the world that she would be releasing a book of selfies, cleverly entitled 'Selfish'. Apparently, it started off as a valentines gift for the other half of Kimye, Mr West. It really splits a person's morals 50/50. On the one hand why does the world need a book showcasing more of Kim who already has her face and name on pretty much everything, but on the other hand I really really want my own book of selfies and will probably bankrupt myself giving the millionaire even more dollar. The fence is well and truly sat on. You can make up your own opinion whilst we all wait on baited breath for whatever the Kardashians spit out next. A selfie never hurt anybody, a whole book of 'em probs won't either.
-The Great British Fascination with (Hashtag) GBBO
Before, I had only flirted with the notion of Mary Berry's existence but it was time to finally get involved and see what everyone was nattering about. "Watch the bake off" they said... "It's so cute" they said... So I did, and was surprised and rather impressed by Mary Berry actually being a rather sassy boss bitch rather than the Sunday afternoon swiss roll sweetheart I envisioned. I think I might love her more than my own family. She's not the only babe on the show either, Sue Perkins is pretty bloody fab. She strolls round doing what any of us would if we had the chance; eat spare cake (or off-cuts as I've now learnt) ((See! It's educational too)).
My advice to you is this, eat before the show. After finishing off most of my edible lip scrub trying to control the hunger I felt as they paraded the best looking (and some not so great but equally tasty looking) cakes for the most torturous hour of my life, I ran to the kitchen to find nothing but smart price chicken noodles. That really wasn't going to cut it. Sighs.
So yeah, even though the show seems to be a hit with Nannas everywhere, it's 100% worth a watch for us young'ens too ya' know. Just make sure you've got plenty of back up snacks for when the munchies set in. Food porn galore. Also, watch out for the disgustingly brilliant overuse of the word moist. Moist. Filthy posh British people. Moist.
-Mind your gap!
The power of the people! A beautiful little clip emerged onto social media the world round this week when a train full of commuters all used their mighty little arms to free a passenger caught between the train and the track. I like to think about how that would've gone down in Britain's capital; home of smiling faces and people happy to help out strangers and make themselves late for work. There goes that sarcasm thing again... Probably would have called the victim something along the lines of Kim K's new book title... Not probably, definitely. Here's the video of actual good people down-under doing actual good things and not hating each other for it:
-I'm about that cat lady life
It was World Cat Day this week, and I happened to be back in Essex this weekend so for anyone asking, I came back for my little cat, Willy-Wills, obvs. Truthfully, I only found out most the way through the day, but I don't wanna hurt the little guy's feelings. So if, like me, you missed it, here's next week's line up so you can celebrate them all:
Sunday- National Lazy Day
Monday- National Son's and Daughter's Day
Tuesday- National Middle Child's Day
Wednesday- National Filet Mingnon Day
Thursday- National V-J Day (Victory of Japan, not Vajazzles but it should be...)
Friday- National relaxation and/or Lemon Meringue Pie Day
Saturday- National Tell A Joke/ Roller Coaster Day
So if you've been born to humans, have older and younger siblings, enjoy pie and thrill seeking- This is your week!!!! Enjoy it, because I said so.
My advice to you is this, eat before the show. After finishing off most of my edible lip scrub trying to control the hunger I felt as they paraded the best looking (and some not so great but equally tasty looking) cakes for the most torturous hour of my life, I ran to the kitchen to find nothing but smart price chicken noodles. That really wasn't going to cut it. Sighs.
So yeah, even though the show seems to be a hit with Nannas everywhere, it's 100% worth a watch for us young'ens too ya' know. Just make sure you've got plenty of back up snacks for when the munchies set in. Food porn galore. Also, watch out for the disgustingly brilliant overuse of the word moist. Moist. Filthy posh British people. Moist.
-Mind your gap!
The power of the people! A beautiful little clip emerged onto social media the world round this week when a train full of commuters all used their mighty little arms to free a passenger caught between the train and the track. I like to think about how that would've gone down in Britain's capital; home of smiling faces and people happy to help out strangers and make themselves late for work. There goes that sarcasm thing again... Probably would have called the victim something along the lines of Kim K's new book title... Not probably, definitely. Here's the video of actual good people down-under doing actual good things and not hating each other for it:
-I'm about that cat lady life
It was World Cat Day this week, and I happened to be back in Essex this weekend so for anyone asking, I came back for my little cat, Willy-Wills, obvs. Truthfully, I only found out most the way through the day, but I don't wanna hurt the little guy's feelings. So if, like me, you missed it, here's next week's line up so you can celebrate them all:
Sunday- National Lazy Day
Monday- National Son's and Daughter's Day
Tuesday- National Middle Child's Day
Wednesday- National Filet Mingnon Day
Thursday- National V-J Day (Victory of Japan, not Vajazzles but it should be...)
Friday- National relaxation and/or Lemon Meringue Pie Day
Saturday- National Tell A Joke/ Roller Coaster Day
So if you've been born to humans, have older and younger siblings, enjoy pie and thrill seeking- This is your week!!!! Enjoy it, because I said so.
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